


Things I Do When I Should Be Working

by astudyincastiel



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Character Study, I'm Sorry, Loki & Brunnhilde | Valkyrie Grudging Friendship, Loki & Bucky Barnes Friendship, Loki & Stephen Strange friendship, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Look it was pretty minimal, M/M, Maybe two deaths, Okay there was like one death, Other, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sibling Incest, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony and Steve are Done, Well kind of sibling incest anyway, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-08-27 05:35:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16696420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyincastiel/pseuds/astudyincastiel
Summary: This AU is brought to you by 'Happy RP Scenarios'.IN A WORLD -- where Thanos was defeated, because fuck that guy, everyone survived. Mostly everyone. Like 98% of everyone is totally alive, you guys.





	1. Like, So Weird (Tony + Loki POVs)

**Author's Note:**

> Things contained herein do not necessarily follow the plot of our RP, but are set in that AU; they are mostly me vomiting out paragraphs that don't actually get to see the light of day, as it were. I could go into the specifics of this AU, but that might get tedious, especially since it's unlikely these will ever turn into an actual, coherent fic.
> 
> If you're curious, leave a comment, I guess, and I'll slap something together. Honestly, though, I just wanted to try my hand at writing Loki, and it's gotten a little out of control.
> 
> Entries occur in no particular order.
> 
> I'm sorry.

*** * * * * * * * * * ***

**TONY**

Times were strange. Like really strange. Like sometimes Tony lay in bed at night, staring at the ceiling and wondering how he had gotten to this point in his life. He had almost gotten used to the superheros living in his tower until they were all suddenly *not*, and now that they were back it was all kinds of weird all over again. Not that he wanted them to leave again, of course.

Well, maybe Rogers. He'd been fun the first time around, but now things were...

Anyway. It was weird. The guy that technically killed his parents also lived in his tower, which was probably really unhealthy. Kind of like their 'relationship' if it could be called that. He'd had some time to come to terms with the fact that it hadn't really been Barnes, but that didn't keep him from hating the guy anyway on principle. He liked to think they were both on the same page now, after that confrontation in the gym where they'd ended up beating the shit out of one another. Now they each just sort of ignored the other and it worked out well enough.

Also? Apparently he was dating Bruce, which in itself wasn't a bad thing, but it was the most slow motion relationship he'd ever been in that sometimes he forgot it was actually happening. Had they fucked yet? Not being able to remember either meant 'no' or that he'd been too drunk, and both were scenarios that needed correction.

But the weirdest thing of all, the absolute fucking strangest occurrence in his life, was that now, inexplicably, Thor's brother, failed world conqueror and guy with terrible taste in hats, routinely stopped by the tower, hung out with Tony, and it was *fine*. Well, fine with him anyway.

In fact, Tony was starting to think he might have moved into Thor's apartment, and again, when he thought about it, he couldn't say he absolutely hated the idea. Other people hated the idea, he was sure, but the best part about owning said tower was that he got to decide who stayed there. And at this point, anything that got Rogers' panties in a knot was fine by him.

Maybe that was a terrible thing to bond with Loki over, but here they were. Even if that was the only reason they - okay, it wasn't the only reason. The guy wasn't half bad when he wasn't insane or overwroght or whatever the hell had been his problem the last time; probably Thanos. Everything had been Thanos, hadn't it? Whatever. The point was that he managed to be on the short list of people Tony could have a genius level conversation with, could make coffee appear out of thin air, had yet to see all of Tony's favorite shows, didn't complain about his music, AND set Rogers' teeth on edge whenever he happened by with the intent of 'trying to fix it' again.

It was so fucking weird, but also like, kind of perfect?

* * *

**LOKI**

Stark was often aggravating, never more so when he believed he was the smartest being in a room, but Loki's desire to snap his neck had lessened significantly when he discovered that Stark seemed to relish arguing the point rather than be offended and may have even enjoyed a bit of relatively harmless magical retaliation when words seemed lacking in emphasis.

To be fair, he had rather liked Stark from the beginning, in his way. He possessed many of the same traits as Loki himself, so it was difficult to actually despise him. But he still would not have considered they would be spending as much time together as they did.

Obviously it served several purposes, not the least of which was *bothering* people; the Captain seemed to hate it, Strange sometimes twitched a bit at the mention, and Dr. Banner was probably not a fan, but in deference to Stark's presumed relationship, he kept that taunting to a minimum.

He could be gracious. And Stark, for all he seemed content with their arrangement, did deserve that small something extra for what he  
unknowingly provided, something Loki would never allow him, or anyone else to know; he had given him a place, no matter how small, where he might actually belong.

If Stark could accept, or even look past, the green beast that lurked inside Banner, then surely he would not care about the monster Loki truly was, the hideous blue thing covered only by spellwork. Such things did not seem to concern Stark at all, and for all Thor claimed he wasn't bothered, Loki knew that deep down there was still that instinctive hatred that had been pounded into them since they were children; his brother could no more rid himself of it than Loki could himself.

But here? Where Stark was unaware of the truth, and even if he had known, he would likely have shrugged and gone back to work? This was a relief.


	2. Unused Tony Rant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In true fix-it fashion, we had to do something about the Accords, because...what a mess those were. Lawyers were involved, Tony held a presser. It was pretty hand-wavey. I imagined a more confrontational meeting between Tony and Steve, and sort of coughed this up.
> 
> Parts of it were used in the actual scene, but most of it got left behind.

"You'd think a guy like you would know exactly what it's like to realize   
you're in over your head, backed into a corner and there's jack-fucking-   
shit you can do about it besides double-down. I thought I could mitigate   
the problem. I thought you would understand what I was trying to do, but   
you get within five feet of the Terminator over there and it's like your   
ears shut off.

But hey, I was wrong. That's the trend these days; Tony Stark is just   
wrong about everything. Third time's the charm, that's what they say, and   
I guess it's true because I finally realized the reason why nothing ever   
works out like it's supposed to: I'm involved. Ultron, the Accords,   
Thanos? It's just me. I'm the weakest link.

So this is it, Cap. This is my last act. The Avengers are now free to go   
and frolick in whatever country they want, and wherever that is, just give   
my realtor a buzz and she'll set you up. Unless you want your tower back,   
in which case at least give me some time to pack first; I'd like to have   
everything shipped to Cali even if I do end up in federal prison.

And I know what you're going to say, this doesn't make things right,   
you're not going to forgive me, blah blah blah. But I'm didn't do it for   
your gratitude or as some kind of peace offering. I just don't want to   
leave a complete mess behind me and maybe in another 10 years or so you   
might be able to look back and say I wasn't a complete fucking asshole."


	3. Your Cracks Are Showing (Loki)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, disaster sneaks up on even those who should be most prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it occurred to me that since Odin was the one who disguised Loki as an Aesir, it was possible that spell would eventually fade once he was dead. And that it was a pretty invasive and impressive spell to have fooled everyone, even Loki himself, for like 900 years; how was he going to replicate that?
> 
> And I mean, why not add even more angst on top of all the other angst this poor bastard already has, right?
> 
> This definitely got chopped up a bit in execution, but the initial freakout remained in spirit.

* * * * *

It must have started slowly, with cracks beneath the clothes he wore, where he couldn't see it happening until it was too late, until they were spidering across his hands, along his neck, over his face. He'd hurried to the nearest reflective surface and watched, horrified, as they grew, spread, his complexion shifting from it's usual paleness to bright, terrible blue. He blinked once and the eyes staring back at him red instead of green.

There were few things that genuinely alarmed Loki, made panic rise up to overcome rational thought. This - this was absolutely one of those things. The infinite blackness of space was another, and he distantly considered that a trade there might not be so bad.

He couldn't let Thor *see*. That he knew seemed an obvious conclusion at the moment; how could he not know, after everything? Their mot-- Frigga would have told him, wouldn't she, even if Odin wanted it swept away to some dark corner to again be forgotten. He had to know.

But knowing and seeing were two very, very different things, especially for his brother, who often did not realize the full impact of something until it was right before his eyes.

He could leave now -a shaking hand clutched the small bag that hung around his neck- he had the Stone, he could leave and spare himself, find some other world to exist on that wouldn't know or care and maybe he could come back when he finally figured out a way to...hide again.

It was a less appealing prospect than he'd thought. Damn him.


	4. Old Timey Tech (Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not like his hands are broken or anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Out of order.
> 
> Tony works on his 'Fuck the twisted mess these Accords actually are and the horse I rode in on' speech. Which sadly, I never actually did write. But. He did it like a responsible adult all the same.
> 
> This is maybe the point where we decided he was just *too sad*, so shortly after we devised a way to bring back JARVIS.
> 
> Fite me.
> 
> (also forgive the formatting of some of these; i type in notepad :| )

* * * * * 

In the old days - and wasn't it fucking insane that 'old days' just meant  
like, two years ago? - Tony wouldn't have bothered to prepare for a  
speech. Even those initial meetings for the Accords, he'd gone up there  
and winged it.

Now, though? He couldn't really find that confident showman persona to  
wear, and even if he could have, he wasn't sure he could have pulled it  
off. So here he was, writing a goddamn speech.

Actually writing it, too, with a pen and everything. On paper even!  
Because sure, he could have typed it, but that had seemed wrong, somehow,  
and he could have dictated it, but FRIDAY... It wasn't the same, was all,  
doing that sort of thing with her and it was all hard enough already that  
this *one time* he was going to just spare himself the salt in the wounds.

My, how he'd grown as a person, hm?


	5. Idle Hands (Loki)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's...obviously the next victim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this the other day for a scenario that hasn't happened yet, but safe to say Stephen IS NOT PREPARED.
> 
> (see what i did there? little World of Warcraft joke - i'll shut up.)

* * * * * 

He was bored, and if there was one thing that would always be true, it was  
that bored Loki was not a good thing. Bored Loki brought chaos, which  
often-times sounded a lot worse than it turned out to be. After all, chaos  
didn't inherently mean terrible things; it could just as soon be waking up  
to find all your plates glued together as it could be volcanos sprouting  
out of manholes.

And as Loki was currently bound to Midgard - and curse Thor for it,too;  
even if he was finally getting all the attention from his brother he'd  
always wanted, part of him still hated even the illusion of being tied  
down - he was somewhat more reluctant to cause the place any real, lasting  
damage. Especially since it took the people here twice as long to fix  
anything; so inefficient.

So that left people as his only targets. Specifically people he knew,  
because any lasting entertainment was lost on someone you passed by on the  
street; he couldn't be bothered to follow them forever, and cared even  
less about how they would react. Strangers were good for spur of the  
moment things. Like bringing all the benches in Central Park to life or  
turning all of the warbeasts in Wakanda purple.

Or that one time he'd made all those pigeons explode. The mixed repsonse,  
people crying out that it had been senseless animal cruelty and others  
simply glad the avian rats had been somewhat culled, had been quite  
interesting.

But no. He needed proper targets. Thor was actually doing something  
important, kingly, even, so Loki would spare him this time. Rogers was an  
ongoing project, so he'd have to check in there and sew another seed; some  
time with Barnes or Stark, as both seemed to set the Captain on edge. And  
Strange.

Things had been going well there. They got along well, their interests  
aligned. The sex wasn't half bad. But things had been going too smoothly.  
The doctor likely thought himself safe, that Loki enjoying his company was  
some sort of boon that would protect him, keep him from being a target. It  
was past time to prove that was not so.


	6. Terrible Friends (Bucky)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother warned me about guys like you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the gist of their relationship, really. Which is, I think, why I wrote it, just to figure that out; Loki ended up a lot less confounded by Earth ways than his original concept, in that he can figure them out, but he still thinks they're stupid. Whatever.
> 
> They're pals.

* * * * *

Unpopular opinion time. Bucky? Kind of liked Loki, honestly. He wasn't a bad guy, really, though...not necessarily in the way that Thor kept trying to convince people of; he was a *bad* sort of guy, but not, you know, malicious.

They had a lot in common that way, he thought. There was a disconnect there, a lack of empathy or understanding that they both had, regardless of the reasons they had it. They both had someone hovering around behind them, insisting that they were *good people* when they knew that wasn't true, that there were too many things about them for it to ever be true, but that those were things they couldn't ever tell anyone else about.

And the dark humor helped. They definitely weren't having any deep, meaningful conversations; Bucky was fine with admitting the guy was, you know, intellectually superior. But there was a lot about living on Earth he was going to have to get used to, even if his plan was to eventually leave. He made it sound like it was going to take far too long, and that was too long to go around obvious to the way things worked.

Tricking people into doing what you wanted them to could only get you so far.

So, you know, everyone probably hated it -everyone but Thor, sorry- but Bucky was giving him the crash course on how to fucking make due. It was less of a formal class on things and more hanging around with the guy when he stopped over and calling him a fucking idiot when he tried to do shit in a way that put even Steve to shame. Then they'd bicker and insult one another while Bucky 'mansplained' whatever was wrong and they'd lapse into silence again until the process repeated, or something else happened for them to be judgmental about.

It was a system. It worked.


	7. Screw This (Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, even when you're a genius, your brain turns to mush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't originally spit this out for the current AU, but it's kind of general and all purpose, and my Tony is relatively consistent regardless of universe.
> 
> (I feel like it's probably obvious at this point which characters I'm managing here. I feel like I should apologize for how Tony & Loki heavy this is, like as if anyone cares, but I do plan on trying out some of the others under this AU. This is all just the stuff I have already.
> 
> My god. No one cares. I need to shut up.)

* * * * * *

Tony took a deep breath and let it out in a sort of defeated rush, one hand scrubbing over his face while the other tossed the pad onto a nearby workbench; it hit the table, skittered across it, and tipped over the edge onto the floor, unscathed. To be fair, he thought he'd put less spin on that. But.

Try doing THAT with a fucking iPad. Tears for days. Maybe he should drop the price of his consumer tech... Hm.

At any rate, part of him wanted to see how far he'd get with 'Can't we do this some other time?', even though he'd be met with that aggravating Disappointed Puppy Face. But honestly, he wanted to deal with that even less than he wanted to deal with...whatever else.

And it wasn't exactly that he was in a bad mood or there was anything super pressing going on right now that he wanted to hang around for, it was just...

He'd spent three *hours* trying to micromanage the tensile strength of a screw the size of a peanut and his brain felt kind of mushy, which meant he was only 40% sure of what was going to come out of his mouth at any given time and maybe he was a little tired.

But tired was nothing coffee couldn't fix and it was probably just all the muscles in his face breathing a collective sigh of relief that he wasn't squinting anymore.

So it really was a 'it's not you, it's me' situation, but that excuse had never really worked on anyone for anything, and usually backfired. Which meant he was going to have to do the Adult Thing and choose from his available options, because his mushy brain also wasn't up for fights about this kind of thing at the moment.

Meh. "Keep running the simulations, J. Add .4 at each failure until the threshold is met. Five best ones get a cage match; up the weight limit until they break," he said, pushing himself up and taking the pad back that Dum-E was waving in his face. "Whoever wins, patch it up. It's been a while since we've tested your problem solving against mine. And don't forget presentation." He prodded at the pad again for a moment, then actually set it on the table.

"Of course, sir."

Tony gave the vibrating robot arm still crowding his space an absent pat, then turned and gestured to the door. "Lead on."


	8. Magical Whats-it (Tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey dad, look what I found!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not 100% sure what AU I wrote this for tbh, but it's pretty generic so it may as well go in this one, I guess. I need to really cut down on the amount of notepads I open to type in; this is getting ridiculous.

* * * *

Honestly, Tony was a little impressed with Peter's decision to bring his discovery to the Tower and not screw around with it himself. He didn't *say* that, but it must have shown on his face, because the kid regaled him with the tale of almost blowing up his best friend with a Chitarui grenade because he hadn't known what it was, and was not eager to make a second potentially deadly mistake.

Even though that was nearly three years ago now, Tony thought he might be having retroactive heart palpitations.

Christ, this was literally the two weeks from Hell; almost dying, mental breakdowns, harrowing stories from his shitty first attempt at super-parenting.

How many vacations was too many vacations to take when you weren't actually doing anything except getting through the days in one piece, more or less?

He inspected the dohicky -technical term- as Peter hung upside down from the ceiling to get he best view that didn't include invading Tony's personal space, because apparently he was not only observant, but possibly a rather empathetic boy who had taken one look at him as he sat in the lab and seemed to immediately regret his decision to be 'a bother'.

It was kind of adorable, and Tony wanted to throw up for thinking it.

At any rate, whatever the thing was, it wasn't what he would generally call 'tech', at least not that'd ever seen, and since Thor was still off contemplating his life or whatever, he couldn't ask his opinion on whether or not it was some kind of magical doodad they should be worried about.

Which just left one other person to query, unfortunately, so he packed up the spider and his potentially epic loot and took a field trip across town. Ugh.


	9. Coffee Break (Bucky + Loki)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone once said he knew like, maybe 1,000 ways to kill someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two hang out. Steve doesn't like it. You know how they say you never really get over your first love? Well Steve hasn't really ever gotten over his first villain of the new millennia, and Bucky maybe super enjoys yanking that chain. 
> 
> So there are a lot of low speed chases around the city as Steve tries to keep his best guy from getting into trouble, and Bucky does his best to find some, which isn't too hard with Loki around.
> 
> So. Yeah. :x

* * * * *

"This?" Bucky asked, holding up a plastic straw . He twirled it absently, as much as he could, anyway, between metal fingers for a moment, and then jammed it back into his drink; some fancy, coffee slush that froze the back of his throat when he drank it, adding a flash of involuntary panic with each burst of caffiene. Ugh.

Beside him, Loki shifted, recrossing his legs as he sipped his own drink. "Mm. Do you think you could?" He smirked. A woman dragging along a toddler by the hand glanced at the pair of them warily, and as he watched, nearly climbed up onto the curb opposite them as she passed the bench they sat on.

They did make a rather worrying pair, clad in black, one of them sullenand dour while the other watched passersby a bit too intently. Which was which seemed to vary from moment to moment.

"I mean, probably. Not just like this, though. Need to fold it in half, maybe? Whittle it. Otherwise it's gonna just bend or, fuck, take way too long. Nobody's got time for that shit," Bucky answered, taking another mildly disturbing pull through the straw in question. He shot a glance sideways. "Why?"

Snort. "A purely academic question, I assure you. You don't really think if I intended to kill anyone, I'd resort to trash, do you? I'm merely curious as to whether that rumor about you being able to turn anything into a weapon is true."

"You might, if you wanted to throw people off. Yeah, sure, killing people with magic is easier for you and more elegant or what-the-fuck-ever, but everyone would know it was you. Again, great if that's your plan, but otherwise?" He shrugged and scratched at his stomach through his hoodie. He wasn't falling for that rumor bait, not again.

"You ain't fuckin' convincing me you wouldn't kill a guy with a straw just to make some elaborate plan you cooked up outta boredom work." Bucky glanced over at him again, fixing him with the sort of stare he usually gave Steve whenever that dumb asshole had one foot in it and insisted that was absolutely untrue.

It didn't really have the same effect on a god, or maybe it was just Loki himself, because Bucky was almost sure he'd used it on Thor and the guy had caved; funny how it was always the big, brick shithouses that couldn't defend against a judgmental stare.

Loki just chuckled. "Oh, I really do like you." It was strange, a bit, how inoffensive it was to him that Bucky seemed to have figured him out even that much. Maybe they really were too much alike in some respects.

He finished his coffee and disposed of the paper cup in a small burst of green flame. "Well, I think it's time, don't you?" He stood and stretched as Bucky rose to his feet, eyeroll in full swing.

"What, you feel a disturbance in the force or something?" he asked, ignoring the fact that he had maybe heard a distant call of his name; he probably shouldn't enjoy antagonizing Steve as much as he did, but the guy just made it so easy sometimes.

Loki offered him a blank look in return, and Bucky didn't even try not to laugh; fucking FINALLY someone more behind on this shit than he was.


	10. Don't Laugh, But.. (Loki + Thor)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling like a bit of an idiot is a pretty easy thing to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know if it shows, but I've never written Thor before. He's not generally a character that I get in the RP shuffle. This is pretty quick and dirty and unfinished and I don't even know if it's enough to judge characterization on, but I will tell you I think I'm pretty ass at it.
> 
> But I mean. Whatever.
> 
> So Thor looks everywhere for his brother, but checks the Tower last, because why on *Earth* would Loki ever go there, which means it should have been where he looked *first*. I may continue this, I dunno. Ehhhhhhh.
> 
> (weird formatting again. whoops.)

* * * * *

"I wish you had told me you were leaving," Thor said from the doorway.   
Until just then, Loki hadn't really known his brother was capable of   
*sneaking* up on anything, let alone him, and yet here they were, Thor   
having seemingly just appeared in the doorway, and Loki, nearly falling   
off the sofa in his borrowed apartment, knife in hand.

"How dare you come into my house -"

Thor did his best to not look amused; he was upset, damn it. "This really   
isn't your house, brother. It could be argued it's mine. *Technically*,   
it's Tony's." He stepped further into the room, letting the door shut   
behind him.

"Well then *technically* I didn't leave; I'm still on Midgard, aren't I?"   
The knife disappeared with a twitch of his fingers and Loki made to smooth   
out his clothes until he realized how ridiculous he would look trying to   
make his borrowed outfit look presentable; what he had found in his   
brother's room were over-sized and comfortable, but nothing he could ever   
make look good. "If you want to go that route." He crossed his arms over   
his chest in a effort to keep his hands under control.

His brother looked thoughtful for a moment, then sighed, and what was   
probably an involuntary smile crossed his face briefly. "That is true. You   
could have gone anywhere." Thor shifted awkwardly and glanced at the   
floor. "I was...worried, when you didn't come back," he admitted. "Waking   
up to find you gone was of no concern, but..." He looked up again,   
frowning. "I looked everywhere."

Loki tried not to laugh. It wasn't that he thought Thor foolish, except,   
you know, he did a little bit, it was just... "I can't imagine what you   
were worried about. After everything that's happened you must know at   
least two things to be true: I can take care of myself, and you'll never   
truly be rid of me."

The little smile was back. "I do know that, and I am most thankful for it.   
Still, I..." he huffed out a sigh, and this time, turned away and went to   
inspect a nearby shelf, fiddling with the things Loki had placed there; he   
idly wondered what had happened to all his own possessions.

The silence stretched on. He had hoped, maybe, Loki would say something,   
redirect their conversation, but it seemed he wasn't going to be so lucky.   
"As the days passed, I...started to wonder if maybe...you'd never really   
been here at all," he eventually admitted. It sounded ridiculous now that   
he'd said it out loud. "That I had simply...wanted it to be true so badly   
I imagined it." Just when he'd thought it couldn't sound worse, his mouth   
had to keep going.

Loki did laugh then, a little, but it was the sort of laugh people offered   
when puppies fell over themselves or kittens fell asleep sitting up; a   
sort of, 'you stupid, adorable little bastard' kind of laugh. He didn't   
really think he'd ever heard it come out of Loki before. He had to turn   
around and make sure.


End file.
